An agent's favorite bad similes and metaphors

Found this and thought it worth sharing:

• The small boat glided gently across the pond, exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
• John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met.
• His thoughts tumbled around in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without any Cling Free.
• He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree.
• Her eyes were like big brown circles with little black circles in the middle.
• His vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Want to take a shot at making up your own terrible comparisons?


I see that smile.